I have been married a little over six years so it has not been too long since I was navigating the sometimes perilous waters of dating. One dating experience came to mind this morning, and it prompted me to launch a new blog feature "Pearls of Wisdom." From time to time I will share practical life experiences and observations that may be useful to those who read them.
The Date
I don't remember his name. What I do remember is that he was a well-respected teacher, outwardly financially stable, intelligent, and good looking. We had communicated for a bit and decided on a date. He enjoyed cooking and invited me to share one of his home-cooked meals. His home was neat and inviting. His home had a wood-burning fireplace and there was a cozy fire burning. Engaging and pleasant, he easily kept the conversation going. As I watched him cook, he explained that a bit of orange juice helped bring out the flavor of spinach (a tip I have continued to use).
I found myself wondering "Why was this man single?"
He continued to talk, and I continued to listen. I was looking for clues that might lead me to the answer to my question. I did not have to wait long. Over our meal (which was excellent), he shared that he had never been married and that almost all his relationships ended around the 18 month mark. One or two had made it two years but that was rare. He was very charming and respectful and, as I was leaving, he suggested we have dinner again. I told him he would hear from me very soon.
As soon as I got home I did some research. I found that a large number of relationships end between one and two years because the initial "thrill" is gone; reality is setting in and is not palatable to one or both persons. The charming, intelligent, and talented man who had cooked me dinner had a long history of "thrills" with no lasting commitment. The famous poet Maya Angelou said "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." God had done me a great favor; I know it was God who had my date tell me his history of short-term relationships. It was up to me to decide what to do with the information. Would I choose to allow myself to be charmed into thinking that I might be the first Mrs. So & So; or would I believe the reality that there probably would never be a Mrs. So & So?
I kept my word. I called him the next day and thanked him again for the dinner and conversation; and told him I would not be seeing him again.
"Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding." Proverbs 4:7 King James Version
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